James Houston – My First Love

Posted on Nov 19, 2011 in James

There is nothing like finding your first true love. Mine, of course, was an older woman. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my short life. The way she would look at me, I knew that without a doubt she loved me also. I was blinded by the feelings I had for her; I had painted her as this perfect goddess who could do no wrong. The thing is that she wasn’t perfect. She had already been hurt physically and emotionally by love. I later found out that I reminded her of her ex who had hurt her in so many ways.

Many times a lot of her past issues showed up in our relationship. Seeing her as this perfect woman, I felt that I must be the problem. So I took a lot of things personally that weren’t meant for me. Eventually, I took on a lot of negative characteristics. I chose to carry on the same pain and hurt that she had brought from her past.

With all this going on, I know you must wonder why I am writing about her. Although she has moved on and gotten married, I still love her. She is my mother and November 18th was her birthday. My childhood wasn’t the best, but it was a lot better than most where I grew up. Now that I have learned the importance of forgiveness, I can use my past to understand and connect on a level that I would never have been able to reach without it. Sometimes what we consider a curse is really a gift that must be given to others. the roughest times in life are usually when we get our greatest lessons.

Happy Birthday Moms!